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Nuke 'Em 'Till They Glow!! - The  Early Years

Valentine's Day
Written by Benjamin A. Oliver
Art by Esa Karjalainen
February 14, 2005

Valentine's Day: 2005

Ahh, February 14th, Valentine's Day! The day I remember where, in elementary school, we all stuffed little cards and candy into envelopes and handed them to every other person in class. Like Halloween and Easter, the true meaning of Valentine's day was all about getting candy, only on Valentine's Day we got those oddly chalky sugary heart-candies.

We don't get those candies anymore. In theory, I suppose, nowadays we're supposed to invite out our girlfriends (or boyfriends, for any female readers we might happen to have out there—but technically they're the ones that are supposed to be asking ya out), swap roses and chocolates and have a very happy day or evening. There's supposed to be, like, hearts, and ribbons, and chocolates and Pink ArbyFish running rampant all over the place!

Stylin' Valentine

My younger brother just got married last week and we had a full wedding reception on Saturday. How appropriate this should happen so close to Valentine's Day. So no doubt he's found some delightful activity to do on this particular evening. What's married life like? Well, according to them, it's a lot like being single, only there's someone in your house now. Or rather, it's like "living with your girlfriend, only everyone's okay with it."

A funny thing that so much about this site is based around Sailor Moon material—the stuff that seems so obsessed with love and romance—when I myself am so socially inept as to lose total hope and faith in finding a girlfriend. Esa and I are jealous. :P

But that's okay! Not everyone finds their significant other at the same time or ages. It's always the good-looking ones that get married off first. Doesn't matter of they're complete and total crazies—by golly, they're married off long before the people who are unattractive, or short, or old, or could stand to lose a few pounds, or… yeah!

Crazy Stylin'Hmm. When you put it that way, it all seems pretty superficial, doesn't it? Alas, these are not the days where most of the good people are the hard-working, sinewed, tanned good-lookers who've been out in the fields all day long. No, in the days of the urban office, the hard workers are just as often sedentary beings who are well-educated, mild-mannered, and spend every waking hour of the day at a desk, or in front of a computer screen. Unless they're compulsive body-builders, in which case, what kind of people nowadays spends six hours a day lifting weights or running? Why aren't they at the office, earning money for their future and families?

Arr, how long will it take for genetics to catch up with social requirements?

Anyway, there's hope for all of us, I believe. There's a chance for strange-humored fanfic/comic-writer/MIS people. Of course, it would probably help if I started actually looking around, or perhaps even dating. Looking for people who might match up well with me, of all people? What a concept!

Anyway, Happy Valentines Day!


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